Spend Time Together Using Multiplayer Games — Is That A Good Idea Though?
Love is in the air once again!
It’s already 14 February 2021, we are still within the looming circumstance of this COVID-19 pandemic. But I wish you are still in the warming companionship of loved ones, near or far.
Cooped up during this pandemic, it’s not unusual that people find comfort and interact with one another using video games. You and your significant other might also already be doing that. It is always great if you and your significant other are enjoying the same thing and having fun together doesn’t it?
There are many options of video games to pick, and usually Multiplayer games become your choice to spend your time together with significant others. But know that like a healthy relationship, a healthy and fun multiplayer game session is where a good communication happens. That’s the dream alright, but is it not happening to you? Is your supposed-to-be enjoyable gaming session with your significant other turns out to be stressful and frustrating?
Video games are a product that is supposed to bring joy and fun. If it does not bring that to you, let’s take a step back and look at the perspective of us as a user, specifically in Multiplayer games. As a user of a Multiplayer game, you might fall into either of this category:
A. You are Gamers inviting their Non-Gamer significant other to join them in a video game session.
B. You are a Non-Gamer, being a significant other to a Gamer, you yield and join their invitation into a video game session.
C. You and your significant other are both Gamers, your video game preference may differ, but at least you have about the same language about games.
D. You and your significant other are both Non-Gamers, you both decide to try to see what is the fad all about.
This is an informal categorisation that I made, and I don’t have a better naming as of now, so let’s call them at this mean time as Category A, B, C, D. To put into perspective, I fall into Category A above, and my wife is Category B; Let’s talk about that a bit later.
Some months ago, I found a video by Razbuten in my Youtube recommendation and I can’t help to feel so relatable to the creator. It is about how Gaming is viewed by people that are Non-Gamers.
Like the creator of the video, as a Category A person, I heavily relate to what he said (as I quote):
“I can’t really think of a time in my life where I wasn’t interested in games, and because of that, there are certain aspects about them that are almost instinctual for me.”.
This is where people with video game literacy (a.k.a Gamers) can identify themselves and differentiate them with Non-Gamers.
I showed this video to my wife, who is a Category B person, especially the part where the “Lady that he lives with” is having difficulties with control schemes in 5:30 of the video. While it is cute, the first time I watch this video, an epiphany pops on top of my head and I see that indeed this happen to my wife as well.
In my case, I can see that my wife is having difficulties while playing Overcooked 2. She can maneuver very carefully (albeit slowly) in the game, pick up, use, and throw things, but won’t dare to use the dash button. If she tries to use dash button and do the running around, she is most likely to fall or runs toward a direction that she didn’t intend to. This might be because of her unfamiliarity with how far the character will dash, and gap of expectancy of where the character is facing will affect her character’s dash direction. Not to mention, combination of buttons and actions are already overwhelming for her capacity at the time. So knowing her limitation and understanding the learning curve, we collaborate and distribute the task that needs speedy maneuvering to me while she does the ingredients flinging and processing.
Putting this into perspective, we can be a fun companion to our significant other using video games as a medium and show that you care to each other. To help you, here are some key takeaways that I have using those categorisations above.
- If you are the Category A person, thread carefully. You have more video game literacy compared to your significant other, and it is very easy in this position to be a very irritating, insufferable person to them. Be objective while guiding them, be encouraging. Never force them to play like you do, but instead assist them while they do stuff. In this situation, you are most likely to be the one that picks the game. To this I suggest picking games with a low entry barrier and not competitive games. Know what appeals to your significant other and show them something familiar with their world. (E.g Overcooked 2 is a coordination games, and since my wife loves cooking, she is already familiar with what she needs to do in the game)
- If you are the Category B person, know that someone that you care so much is inviting you to their world. New world can be daunting and confusing. It will be great if you sync your expectation first about the video game that you are invited in. Just say that you won’t be good at it at first, and ask your significant other to guide you, not beat you (hence remind them to not choose competitive games). Say that you want to have fun and get a good experience together with you, and give you time to adjust to their world.
- If you are the Category C person, you may feel that you are lucky. That can be right or wrong. You are most likely be able to communicate using the same level of game literacy, depending on the type of the game that you and your significant other enjoy. In this case, you may invite them or be invited into something challenging and competitive. Never be a sore loser or sore winner or an insufferable partner just because someone knows better than the other. In the end you want to enjoy each other’s companionship in a medium that you enjoy together.
- If you are the Category D person, know that you invited someone to explore a new world together! You both may be unfamiliar with the setting or even the rule of the games. To this, I recommend finding someone that identifies themselves as Category A to a game that you are interested in and ask them to guide you. I will also quote Razbuten’s video above:
“Video games are best when they are a communal experience, and a big part of that stems from the sharing of knowledge.”.
As someone that may be new to video games, please know that whatever happens in the game, it does not necessarily relate to the real world. You don’t want to ruin your relationship over a vote in Among Us.
I feel very fortunate to have been blessed with a companion that really cares for me and interested in what I care about. To a degree, our relationship is an inspiration that makes me motivated to write about this piece. I hope what I share here can be useful for you to build your relationship further.
Like any other entertainment medium, video games are supposed to bring people together with joy and fun. So next time you are playing a Multiplayer game and find yourself not having fun, remember to stop and take rebreather, because the other person also may not be having fun.
Happy gaming!
